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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Dealing with blame 如何處理別人的責備

Dealing with blame

When someone blames you, what do you usually do? Blame them back or you put up resistance in yourself. When someone blames you, they actually take away some negative karma from you. If you understand this and don't put up resistance and feel happy about it, then you drop your resistance. "Oh, good. That person is blaming me. Good. Something is going away." And when you drop the resistance, your karma goes away. Do you see what I'm saying?

So when someone blames you and you put up resistance in your mind, and you don't react, then you are not allowing them to take the negative karma. Outside you may resist, but inside if you don't resist, and feel happy, "Oh, good, somebody is there to blame me and take some negative karma," you will feel immediately lighter.

How does it feel to you when someone blames you? Do you feel some heaviness? Usually, when someone blames you, you feel hurt and you feel unhappy, you feel sad. This is all because you're. resisting. That is it. What you resist, persists. The ignorant person tells someone, "Don't blame me because it hurts me."

An enlightened person also says "Don't blame me." Do you know why? Because it might hurt you. This is a beautiful point. What are the points? You get hurt because you resist the blame. When someone blames you, you resist it inside. Outside you may not resist, but inside when you resist, then that hurts you.

An ignorant person warns you, "You better not hurt me, you better not blame me because I will feel hurt." Someone warns you not to blame them because it will hurt them and they'll do something harmful to you out of revenge.

An enlightened person says "Don't blame me because it will hurt you." So here you say, don't blame because of compassion. You can tell someone, don't blame me out of compassion, or you can say it out of anger.

如何處理別人的責備

當有人責備你的時候,通常你會怎麼做?責備回去或是為自己裝上防備。當一個人責怪你的時候,他們其實是帶走你的一些業力。如果你明白也這一點,你會為此感到高興,你就不會為自己加上防備,反之你會放下它。『啊!好啊!這個人在責怪我。很好!有些東西會因此而離開。』當你放下你的防備時,你的業力也就離開了。你們明白我所說的嗎?
所以當一個人責備你的時候,而你腦子裡裝上防備,你沒有去回應他們,你這是不讓他們帶走你負面的業力。表面上你可以抵抗,但是內心裡你不要去抗拒,而是要感到高興,『哦,好啊!有人在責怪我而且會帶走我一些負面的業力』,你會立即覺得變輕雲了。

當別人在責怪你的時候,你感覺怎麼樣?你會不會感覺到沉重?通常別人責怪你的時候你會覺得受傷害和不開心,你會覺得傷心。這一切都是因為你在抗拒。就是這樣。而你越抗拒的,就會越頑強。無知的人會告訴別人『不要責備我,因為它傷害了我』。
但是智者也是會說『不要責備我』。你知道為什麼嗎?因為它會傷害你。這是漂亮的一點。你知道為什麼嗎?你受傷害因為你抗拒被責備。當有人責備你的時候,你在內心裡抗拒。表面上你可能沒有抗拒,但是你在內在抗拒,這樣你就會受傷害。

一個無知的人會警告你『你最好別傷害我,你最好別責怪我,因為我會受傷的。』那些人警告你不要責備他們,因為他們會受傷;然後做出些傷害你的事情來報復你。

一個智者卻會說『不要責怪我,因為你會受傷。』所以你這會說,因為慈悲所以不要去責備。你可以告訴別人,出於慈悲心,你們不要責備我;或是你也可以憤怒的說出這些。

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