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Friday, March 8, 2013

What Will Be Your Final Act Of Life? 你生命的最後一的動作將會是什麼?

What Will Be Your Final Act Of Life?

January 24, 2013

(Below is the transcript of Satsang with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.You can watch the Live webcast of future satsangs)

Bangalore, India

1982
Q: Gurudev, it is said that chanting the name of Narayana (Lord Vishnu) in the last moments of our life brings one liberation. Is it true that the last act of life is the strongest in determining our way forward?Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Yes, it is true. It is at the time of death that the mind separates from the body. So at this time, whatever impression one bears in the mind become the reason for the next birth. This is a scientific truth.
You can see this for yourself. If you observe, the first thought on your mind when you wake up in the morning will be same thought that you had before you went to sleep.
 
 


 
 
Now, usually your mind is so consumed with thoughts of something or the other, that at the time of death, you may not even remember to chant Narayana. That is why the ancient people have said, keep remembering God all the time by chanting His name (Narayana). Remember him every night before sleeping; while you take a shower; even while eating your meals, remember him and thank him for the food you receive.
Before starting something new, remember Him to make it an auspicious beginning. The ancient people were very intelligent and they made it a custom.
So, whenever one opens a new shop, the first thing they must do is naam smaran (remember the name of God), and then they start the shop. If one buys something new, they must remember Narayana and then begin.
We all do this, is it not so? We do this even today.
If you are going to write an examination, you think of the Divine and pray that the questions in the examinations are easy, and that you are able to write the answers properly.
Everyone prays, whether kids, adults or old people; all of them pray. But they do it out of fear. I would say, don't do it out of fear, rather to do it out of love; out of a deep sense of gratitude.
When you pray with love and faith that is when you blossom.
What is the difficulty in remembering the Divine before starting any new work? You can chant and remember the Divine by saying anything that you like. You can say Narayana, or Jai Gurudev, or even Om Namah Shivaya. Whatever name you like, say that.
Otherwise you keep singing all sorts of songs in your mind while having bath, or while eating food, like ‘Dafliwaale Dafli Bajao ‘ (O drummer boy, play me the drums!) What else would a drummer boy play for you if not drums? Is this a song?
Now I have not heard any of the recent songs, as I have not gotten the time. But there must be some songs that have come up recently that have no meaning at all.
There is a song called, 'Kolaveri di’ which seems to have become very popular. Many people do not even know the meaning of the song. Do you know what the meaning is? In Tamil, the expression 'Kolaveri di’ means 'I feel like killing someone.'
Is this is a good song, something which means that you feel like killing someone? That is why I say, just do naam smaran. Chant Om Namah Shivaya, or Omkar (Om) mantra. Chant whichever one that you like with a feeling of devotion.
See, I am not putting down any song, if you want to sing, it is okay to sing Kolaveri Di also; no problem. But sometimes a catchy tune like this will keep going on and on in your mind and it will affect you.
It is good that most of the people do not understand the meaning of the song. If they knew the meaning, and sang it along with the meaning then there would have been problems. It is in another language; it is in Tamil.

When you know the meaning of a bhajan and you sing it with a feeling of gratitude and devotion, it has a profound effect on your life.
Every word has a vibration of its own, and when we speak good words, the vibrations from those words have the power to purify the mind, and purify life.
By chanting and speaking positive, both the mind and the body get energized. That is why it is said to do naam smaran.
Do it at least two times in the day. Like I said, in the morning before having the first meal of the day, remember the Divine by chanting his name.
 
 


 
 
I keep telling everyone that before eating food, chant this mantra, ‘Annadaata Sukhi Bhavah’ (May the provider of my food be blessed with peace and prosperity).
This mean that may the ones who have gives me this food be blessed with peace and happiness. So give this blessing with all your heart.
By chanting this mantra, you pray that the lady of the house who cooked and served you food is blessed with peace and happiness. Also, the merchant who purchased and brought the food grains to your home, may he be blessed, and lastly you bless the farmer who cultivated and grew the crops from which you got your food. So by saying this chant, you bless him as well. This is such a good thing!

Similarly, first thing in the morning, when you wake up say ‘Om Namo Narayana’ or ‘Om Namah Shivaya’.
When something goes wrong, say, 'Hey Ram!'
If someone dies, chant 'Ram Naam Satya Hai' (The name of Lord Rama alone is the ultimate truth).
What is the difficulty in just remembering the name of God? There is no difficulty at all.
When you enter the car, say ‘Om Namo Narayana’, and then sit in the car. Before you get out of the car also, do naam smaran (remember the name of God) and then get out.
In this way, you will make it a habit to do naam smaran, is it not so? So during your last moments, at the time of death, when the Prana (life force) is about to leave your body, then also you will do naam smaran because it will come to you naturally at that time, and this will uplift you in a great way.

Q: Gurudev, I want to know how far I have progressed in my spiritual development. These days I have even stopped running behind your car. Does this mean that I have grown spiritually, or does this mean that my devotion towards you has decreased?Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: This only you can know.
Once you have come on this path, you will progress. You will only move forward.
See, do not measure your growth by whether or not you run behind my car. Never do that. How centered have you become? This is what you need to see. The more centered you become, the more you have progressed on the path.
Wherever you are, be there and become still. Bring your mind to the self.

What you need to remember is that there is no lack of devotion in you. Do not even think that you do not have enough devotion. Yes, sometimes devotion may get hidden, but that is only for some time, soon it will come up again.
Feelings cannot always be constant. Our passion also will not be the same all the time. There will be ups and downs.
Feelings are not like stones, they are like water. Just like how ripples arise in water, the same goes for feelings as well. Feelings arise and then they settle down, and then again they rise. This is only natural. That is why love and longing always go together. You sometimes feel intense longing, and sometimes you feel an abundance of love, and then again you experience longing and then intense love. This will keep on happening in life.
Q: Dear Gurudev, you have spoken about the three kinds of devotees. Are there different flavors of masters as well?Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Yes, definitely!
History has seen many different types of masters. In fact they are all very unique and everybody is different. There are people with a little more rajasic gun and a little tamasic gun, while some are more satvic.
The other day, I was mentioning, long ago in the early 80s when I was just around 23 or 24, I visited a saint on the outskirts of Delhi. This saint said to me, 'If it is 24 carat gold, you cannot make any ornaments out of it. You have to add some copper or something to it, only then does it become an ornament.'
He said, 'You too have to add something. You cannot be 24 carat gold, otherwise you cannot be useful to everybody.'
I said, 'No Baba, let me be only 24 carat. Whatever happens let it happen.'
He said, 'You can spread very fast. Why don't you learn about Tantra. Learn about some spirits and then you can control some spirits and do some magic.'
I said, 'I do not need to do any of these', I know they do not lead you to the highest.

So there are people who do a little bit of these miracles, but it lasts only for a short period of time. Later on what happens, the spirits from who you take work, they will take toll on you.
All this lasts for a very short span of time, it is not something that stays with you.
That is why, pure satvic knowledge, harmonious knowledge is the best, and it is long lasting. There is no tamo gun or rajo gun in that. The impact is permanent, long lasting, and it takes you to the highest; nothing short of the highest.
This saint was a very nice saint, not that he was bad. He was very nice person. He was in his 70s or so in those days, and he just made a suggestion. When I said no, he really appreciated it, he said, 'Yes, this is good.'
Perhaps he wanted to test me to see if I could be tempted to do something.

 
 


 
 
Q: When we meet someone for the first time, opinions and judgments are formed naturally. We like someone in the first meeting and we dislike some people for no reason at all. Why is it so Gurudev?Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: That is how it is. The world functions on vibrations and we all work on vibration. Some people’s vibrations are more pleasant and you respond to it easily. Some others’ vibrations are a little repulsive.
When you very centered, you will not find anybody with whom you feel a repulsive vibration with, and there will be nobody that can shake you off your center. That is the most desirable state - where there are no cravings and no aversion; no repulsion or no compulsion, or attraction. Then everything looks charming. Everybody is in harmony with you and everything is in harmony with you. That is the inner bliss that is expanded all around you.
Q: Gurudev, you said that the knowledge of sleep brings freedom. What does this mean?Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Knowledge of sleep and dreams can take you into a different state of samadhi. It is one of the techniques mentioned in the Yoga Sutras by Rishi Patanjali. Maharishi Patanjali has said the sutra, 'Swapnanidrajnanalambanam va'
This is one of the samadhis that he mentions while describing the different types of samadhis.
If you are aware of how sleep is dawning on the mind, in between the sleep and waking state, there is a spark of total stillness. I am saying only spark of stillness because stillness is so dynamic, so alive. That is what he is talking about.
So if you notice, just before falling asleep, or as soon as you wake up, you are neither fully asleep nor fully awake, in that gap, there is certain peace, a certain quality of consciousness which is so beautiful, so soothing and so healing. That is what is mentioned there.
Q: Gurudev, when longing becomes intense sometimes, it ends up with the feeling of anger or frustration. How to deal with it? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Longing needs to be internalized, you need to go deep into meditation. Or give a creative form to it, write some poems or articles. Writing will help. You know, a lot of great works have come out of longing, whether it is painting, music, drama, literature, all these have come out of deep yearning.
So give your longing a creative direction; or internalize it, go deep in meditation.
Q: Gurudev, it is said that power corrupts. Would you speak about the way one can handle power? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Power corrupts when your intentions are not correct. When your intentions are not right, you try to gain power in a corrupt manner.
Some say, power is poison. I agree with it if you are using it for your selfish reasons. But if you are using power for service, then it is a tool. If your intention is to serve people, power is just a tool.
Q: Gurudev, it is very easy to be grateful when things are going well. How to feel grateful and be aware of your grace when things are not going well?Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Remember how in the past tough times have become easier. You sailed through the tough times. That will give you the confidence and instill stronger faith in you.
Q: Gurudev, technology brings comfort, but it also increases pollution. Comfort versus environment, what should be the criteria for development?Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Technology need not be always against environment.
Today technology is advancing towards being more and more environment friendly. So we can have technology and still care for the environment, but environment is very important. It is more important.

 
 


 
 
Q: Gurudev, how to ensure that a person does not take you for granted in a relationship?Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Don't worry about it, it is quite natural.
People take you for granted because they think you belong to them already, and so they only attend to people who are guests.
You are a part of the family, why should anybody tell you, 'Have you had coffee? Are you going to eat now?' It is not normal!
If someone asks a little too many questions, then also you will doubt, 'Why are they giving me so much attention. Something must be wrong.' You start doubting.

The other day, one gentleman told me, 'Gurudev, when I attend to my wife, and be a little nicer to her, she starts doubting, she says that there is something wrong and asks me, 'What is the matter? You must have done something wrong. You are not being honest.' If I am normal, then she says that I ignore her. What to do Gurudev?'
So when someone wants to doubt you, in any case, they will start doubting you.
He said, 'It is very hard. If I come half an hour late, she sits on an enquiry commission, 'Where did you go? What time did you leave office? What happened? She will ask me all these questions.'
That is why I say, we need to learn to how to handle our own mind.
It is the mind which plays so many tricks on you. Your mind could be your best friend if it is under your reins, and it is your worst enemy, if you are under the influence of your own mind.
Q: Gurudev, wherever Lord Krishna used to go, there quarrels and fights would begin. But wherever you go, differences comes to an end.Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Yes, when people get the news that I am coming to their city or town, that itself creates so many fights between people. One will say, 'Gurudev will travel in my car.' Another will say, 'He will stay at my house.' The third will say, 'He will have food in my place,' And because of all of this, fights start happening.
But after my visit, people do get happy. I ensure I make them happy.
Q: Gurudev, how can I take my marital relationship to the next level, rather than it just being an ordinary relationship of a husband and wife?Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Both should move ahead together and support each other.
Sometimes, it may happen that one partner may lose interest in a marital relationship, while the other may still be interested. Then it may seem like things are not working out. This could happen. But even then, you need to support each other. Both should move ahead together.


你生命的最後一的動作將會是什麼?

問:古儒吉,據說在我们生命的最后一刻唱誦那拉亞納(Narayana)(上主比濕奴Lord Vishnu)可以让一个人解脱。我们生命的最后一个动作决定了我们往后的去向,这是真的吗?

古儒吉:是,这是真的。在死亡的时候,心智和身体会分开。所以这个时候,在脑海里的任何的影响成为下一世的原因。这有科学根据。你自己也可以看到这一点。如果你去观察,清晨当你睡醒的第一个念头将会是你睡前的那一个。
现在,通常你的心智被很多事情的思绪消耗著,在死亡的時候,你可能不會記得要唱誦Narayana。這就是為什麼古時候的人說,要時時刻刻唱誦神的名字(Narayana)以謹記祂。在每晚睡前都想起祂;沐浴的時候;甚至在吃东西的時候,記起祂並感謝祂所施予你的食物。
在開始任何新的事物前,憶起祂好有個良好的開端。古時候的人很有智慧所以他們把它當成一種風俗習慣。所以,當一個人新店開張時,他們要做的第一件事情是naam smaran (記起神的名字),然後他們才開店。如果有人買新的東西,他們一定要從一開始就憶起Narayana 然後才開始。我們都那麼做,對不對?我們每一天都那麼做。如果你要去考試,你憶起神並祈禱考題會是容易的,好讓你可以順利的寫下答案。大家都有祈禱,無論是小孩,大人或老年人;大家都有祈禱。但是他們是出於恐懼才那麼做。我會說,不要因為恐懼才那麼做,而是出於愛才那麼做;出於深度的感恩。當你以愛和信仰去祈禱,這就是你盛開的時候。
在開始任何新工作之前憶起神性有什麼難呢?你可以唱誦或是說出任何你喜歡的來憶起神性。你可以說Narayana,或是Jai Gurudev,或是Om Namah Shivaya。任何你喜歡的名字,就說那個。否則在你洗澡的時候,或是在吃東西的時候你都在唱任何出現在你腦海的歌曲,如 ‘Dafliwaale Dafli Bajao ‘(噢擊鼓的男孩,為我擊鼓吧!)如果擊鼓的男孩不是在擊鼓那他會是在做什麼?這是一首歌嗎?我最近都沒有在聽些近期的歌曲,因為我沒有那個時間。但是一定有些完全沒有意義的流行歌曲在出現。有首歌叫做‘Kolaveri di’,看起來已經成為非常出名了。很多人都不知道它的意思是什麼。你知道它的意思嗎?在淡米爾文,'Kolaveri di’的意思是“我覺得想殺人”。這是首好歌嗎,它的意思是你想殺人?這就是為什麼我說,就只是念誦神的名字(naam smaran)。唱誦Om Namah Shivaya, 或 Omkar (Om)真言。以奉獻的心去唱誦任何你喜歡的。
看,我並不是偏低任何的歌曲,如果你要唱Kolaveri Di 也沒關係;沒問題。
但是有時候這樣順口的歌曲會在你的腦海裡重覆又重覆而它會影響你。還好很多人並不知道這首歌的意思。如果他們知道它的意思,而帶著它的意思去唱,那麼就會有問題了。它是在另一種語言;在淡米爾文。當你知道知道bhajan (祈禱歌)的意思並帶著感恩和奉獻的心去唱,它對你的生命會產生深遠的影響。每一個字都有它自己的震波,而當我們在說些好的字,那個字的震波有淨化心智和淨化生命的力量。透過唱誦和說正面的話,心智和身體都會得能量。所以為什麼說要念誦神的名字(naam smaran)。每一天至少做兩次。如我所說的,早上在吃一天的第一餐之前,唱誦神的名字以憶起祂。
我不斷的告訴大家在吃東西之前,唱誦這個真言,“Annadaata Sukhi Bhavah”(願提供食物給我的人得到平靜和繁榮的祝福)。意思是願給予我食物的人得到平靜和快樂的祝福。全心全意的去給出這個祝福。透過唱誦這個真言,你祝愿家裡煮飯並供應你食物的女人得到平靜和快樂。另外,買賣糧食並供應食物到你家的供應商,也讓他們得到祝福,而最後是把祝福給予那些耕種的農夫。所以唱誦這個真言,你也給了他們祝福。這是多麼好的一件事!
同樣的,早上醒來的第一件事,當你醒來你說“Om Namo Narayana”或“Om Namah Shivaya”。當有事情出錯了,說“Hey Ram!”如果有人去世了,唱誦“Ram Naam Satya Hai”(上主拉瑪的名字本身就是終極的真理)。只是記得神的名字有什麼難呢?完全都不困難啊。當你進入車子,說“Om Namo Narayana”,然後才坐進車子裡。當你從車子出來也是,念誦神的名字( naam smaran惦記神的名字)然後才出來。這樣一來,你會把 naam smaran當成一種習慣,對嗎?所以在你的最後一刻,在死亡的時候,當Prana(生命的能量)就要離開你的身體,那麼那個時候你也會念誦神的名字(naam smaran)因為那個時候它已經會自然的到來,這將會是提升你的一個絕佳的方式。

問:古儒吉,我想知道我在靈修路上已經走了多遠。這些天我已經不再追在你車子後頭了。這樣是代表我已經在靈性上成長了嗎,或是這代表的虔誠已經減少了呢?
 
古儒吉:這個只有你自己會知道。當你來到這條道路上,你就已經進步了。你只會向前走。看,不要用你有沒有追在我車子後面來衡量你的成長。絕對不要那麼做。你處在中心的程度有多少?這是你應該去看的。你如果越處在中心,你在這條道路上的成長就越多。無論你在哪裡,就處在那裡並靜止不動。把你的心智帶到你的本我。你需要知道的是,在你之內並沒有缺乏虔誠。完全不要去想自己沒有足夠的虔誠。是,有些時候虔誠可能被隱藏,但是那只是一些時候而已,很快的它又會出現了。感覺是不能永遠不變的。我們的熱情也不會是常常一樣的。會有起有落。感覺不是像石頭,它們像水。就像出現在水中的漣漪,同樣的感覺也是那樣。感覺升起然後它們又安定下來,然後再次的它們又升起。這是自然的。這也是為什麼愛和渴望總是在一起的。有時候你感到強烈的渴望,而有時候你感到豐富的愛,接著你又經歷渴望然後強烈的愛。這在生命裡會不斷的發生。

問:古儒吉,您說過有三種虔信者。那麼有不同種類的大師嗎?

古儒吉:是的,那當然!歷史見證了很多種大師。事實上他們都很獨特而每個人是不同的。有些是比較非激性(rajasic gun)和比較惰性tamasic gun)的,而有些是比較悅性(satvic)。 前陣子,我提過,很久以前在80年代當我還是23或24歲的時候,我拜訪了一個在新德里郊區的聖人。這個聖人告訴我,“如果只是24卡拉的金,你是不能用它來做首飾的。你需要加些銅或是其它的,這樣一來它才能被做成首飾。”他說“你也是需要加些什麼。你不能只是做個24卡拉的金,這樣你不能對別人有好處。” 我說“不巴巴(Baba),就讓我只是成為24卡拉的金子。就讓該發生的發生吧。”他說“你會散播得非常快。你何不去學坦陀羅(Tantra)。去學些關於靈魂的東西然後你可以控制一些靈魂和做些魔術。”我說“我不需要做這些。”我知道那些並不會帶你到最高。
所以有些人會一些這樣的奇蹟,但是它只是持續一下子而已。之後會怎麼樣,那些你拿來工作的靈魂,他們會向你徵收費用。這些都只是短暫的,它不會是和你永久在一起的。這就是為什麼,純淨的悅性(satvic)知識,和諧的知識是最好的,而它是源源不絕的。這裡沒有黑暗( tamo gun)或塵埃(rajo gun。它的影響力是永久,持久的,而它帶你到最高;不會比那最高的更低了。這位聖人是很好的聖人,他並不是壞。他是個很好的人。在那個時候他大慨70多歲,而他只是給意見。當我說不,他也很感激,他說“好,這是好的。”也許他要刺探我看我會不會被引誘去做些別的。

問:當我們第一次見到一個人的時候,自然的就會形成成見和判斷。有時候第一次見面我們就毫無理由的開始不喜歡一個人。古儒吉為什麼會這樣?

古儒吉:它就是這樣的。這個世界是以震波在運作而我們全部也是以震波在操作。有些人的震波比較愉快所以你輕易的就可以回應它。而有些人的震波是比較有排斥力的。當你是處於非常中心的時候,你就不會覺得有任何人是對你有排斥力的,也沒有人會把你從你的中心拉開。這是最理想的狀態——那裡沒有渴望也沒有厭惡;沒有排斥或強迫,或吸引。那麼一切看起來都很迷人。每個人和你都很和諧而一切和你在一起的都會很和諧。這是內在的幸福而它會在你的周圍擴大。

問:古儒吉,您說睡眠的知識帶來自由。這是什麼意思?

古儒吉:睡眠和夢的知識可以帶你去到三摩地的不同狀態。關於這些技巧,智者帕坦伽利(Rishi Patanjali)在瑜伽經(Yoga Sutras)裡有提到。偉大的智者帕坦伽利(Maharishi Patanjali)在經典裡說到“Swapnanidrajnanalambanam va”。 這是他在提到的三摩地的種類裡的其中一個。如果你覺知到睡眠是如何在心智裡出現,在睡眠和清醒狀態之間,有種完全寂靜的火花。我所說的只是寂靜的火花因為寂靜是動態的,很活躍的。這就是他所說的。所以如果你有發現,在進入睡眠之前,或是在你醒來的那一刻,你並不是完全的睡著或是完全的清醒,那那之間,有某種平靜,一定質量的意識它是如此的美麗,如此的舒緩和如此的癒合。這是所提到的。

問:古儒吉,有時當渴望變的強烈的時候,它最最終變成憤怒和沮喪的感覺。要如何處理這個?

古儒吉:渴望必須要往內的,你需要進入深層的靜心。或提供它一個有創意的形式,些詩或是文章。寫作會有幫助。你知道,很多的巨作都是源自渴望,無論是圖畫,音樂,戲劇,文學,這些都來自深刻的嚮往。所以給你的渴望一個創意的方向;或是將它內在化,進入深層的靜心。

問:古儒吉,據說權力讓人腐敗。可以請您說一說處理權利的方式嗎

古儒吉:當你的意圖不正確的時候權力會使人腐敗。當你的意圖不對,你會嘗試用腐敗的方式獲得權力。有些人說,權力是毒藥。如果你將它用在自私的理由那麼我同意這種說法。但是如果你把權力用在服務,那麼它是個工具。如果你的意圖是為了服務別人,權利就只是個工具。

問:古儒吉,當萬事順利時要心存感激很容易的。但是當事情進行的不順利的時侯要如何覺得感激和察覺到你的恩典?

古儒吉:記得那些困難的時候是如何變得容易。你航過了艱難的時刻。這會給予你自信並灌輸你更強的信心。

問:古儒吉,科技帶來安逸,但是它也帶來了污染。安逸和環境,展的標準應該是什麼?

古儒吉:科技並不一定是針對環境的。現今的科技已經越來越邁向環保。所以我們可以有科技同時也愛護環境,但是環境是非常重要的。它是最重要的。

問:古儒吉,要如何確保一個人在一段感情裡並沒有把你當成是理所當然的?

古儒吉:不要擔心這個,這是很自然的。別人視你你為理所當然因為他們認為你已經是屬於他們的了,因為這樣他們只會招待那些是客人的人。你是家庭的一份子,為什麼需要有人告訴你“你喝了咖啡嗎?你現在要吃了嗎?”這是不正常的!如果有人問了你多一些問題,這樣你也是會懷疑“為什麼他們給我那麼多關注。一定是有事情出錯了。”你會開始懷疑。
前幾天,一個男士告訴我“古儒吉,當我照顧我的妻子,對她好一點,她就開始質疑,她說一定是有什麼出錯了而問我‘發生了什麼事?你一定是做錯了什麼。你並沒有誠實。’而如果我只是如常,她就說我不理她。我該怎麼做古儒吉?”
所以當別人要懷疑你,在任何情況下,他們還是會開始懷疑你。他說“這很難。如果我晚了半個小時回來,她就會開始一連串的問‘你去了哪裡?你幾點離開辦公室?發生了什麼事?’她會問我這些問題。”所以我說,我們需要學習如何處理我們自己的心智。是心智對你耍了那麼多的花樣。你的心智在你的韁繩下可以是你的好朋友,而如果你被你的心智影響,它會是你最壞的敵人。

問:古儒吉,任何上主克里斯納抵達的地方,就會有爭執和戰鬥的發生。但是無論你走到哪裡,分歧就結束了。

古儒吉:是的,當人們知道我要來到他們的城市或市鎮,這本身就造成人們當中的很多爭執。一個會說“古儒吉會坐我的車。”另一個會說“他會住在我家。”第三個會說,“他會來我家吃飯。”而就因為這些,爭執就開始發生。但是在我到訪過後,人們就會很高興。我會確保他們都高興。
 
問:古儒吉,我要如何把我的婚姻帶到另一個階段,而不是只是一般的夫妻關係?

古儒吉:雙方都需要一起前進並互相支持彼此。有時候,其中一個配偶可能會對婚姻關係失去興趣,但是另一個可能仍然有興趣。那樣看起來很像會行不通。這可能會發生。但即使是如此,你還是要支持彼此。雙方應共同前進。

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